A Riff on Procrastination & Intuition

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny Taken At: ABC Carpet and Home

Life has taught me this in spades...you know that inertia-inducing, opportunity-missing, confidence-betraying cocktail of perfectionism and procrastination.  

Come to think of it, those two "p" patterns are probably fraternal twins, they might look different but the connection between perfectionism and procrastination runs deep.

So off I go to put some whole-hearted time into writing my book (dream since childhood) and working on my new website (halle-f***ing-lujah), which has stirred up a veritable perfect-storm cocktail of the evil "p" twins. Lest I use spending more time perfecting this newsletter as a tricky way to think I'm being productive, while I'm actually avoiding doing something that is very important to me but more thorn-laden with doubt and fear than writing this is. 

Having said all of that, as I'm writing this, I was just inspired to ask the universe if there was something more I should add to this subject for you, and I had to smile at the uncanny synchronicity of receiving this particular message:

So let's riff on this jewel from Danielle LaPorte for a moment. Sometimes we judge ourselves and think we are procrastinating when in reality we are being asked by our intuition to not move forward for some reason on that project, deadline, email, task, etc. Because sometimes, we are being asked to change course, to dream it a little more before we produce, or to wait for intuitive timing to dictate to us rather than our fear-based "pushing" timing would tell us to birth.

How do you know the difference? Ask it. Meditate on the question "Is this procrastination or intuition?"

See what your own innate wisdom says. You might receive some guidance via a little voice in your head that's of a different frequency from your thoughts, you might receive a message from the outside world that's uncanny in its answer, you might just listen to what your body tells you (your body never lies), or you might just pick up that book or card deck you use as a tarot and see what answer comes to you (like I did just now). 

And then listen...and do what you hear to do (or not to do).

OVER TO YOU:
What is calling to you to "do it now"? What are you delaying that feels like it could be your intuition telling you something? What past experience/s do you have where you delayed doing something and it turned out to be wise that you did? Join me in the comments below!

Of Stars Falling Out Of Sippy Cups

"Olaf and the Falling Stars" Photo by Elana Kilkenny.

One rainy summer afternoon after finding out some challenging news, I found myself in search of clarity. My energy was scattered, my heart was worried and my head felt messy. So I did what I knew to do, I couldn't unfold the big things in my life, I could only unfold that which was in front of me. So I went into our home office that had been cluttered for way too long and started clearing it out. My prayer in doing so was for my mind to be cleared out with it. 

Through that process, I found in a Disney Store bag these two sippy cups. They had been given to me a while ago as a gift from my father to my children. They were of Olaf the unflaggingly optimistic, magical snowman from the movie "Frozen". I somehow resisted these cups for months, but today inexplicably I decided to wash them out and get them ready for my kids to enjoy.

In doing so, in one I found quite expectedly a piece of paper with washing and care instructions. But when I attempted to open the other sippy cup, the top was stuck. Olaf's head wouldn't budge. As I was still knee-deep in emotional muck, I found myself spewing expletives under my breath followed by a deep urge to chuck Olaf into the garbage. I was angry, why did everything feel so hard right now? Even a stupid sippy cup wouldn't open easily. I persevered and attempted to get the snowman's head off once more. Finally, his head popped off and quite unexpectedly, out flew a slew of paper stars.

They were these perfectly-shaped, delicate little stars. So small that I couldn't even imagine an origami master making them. So, I knew. They were angel made. The universe knew that I did not need one more instruction manual that day, I needed grace. And so, grace was provided. As, come to think of it, it usually is.  

For sometimes grace comes in the form of stars falling out of sippy cups...

Gazing upon these fallen stars I burst into tears. I cried because I knew. Because I knew this was a message. I knew this was an answer to a prayer. I knew that I had opened up this silly cup at the perfect moment to know that I was not alone, that indeed my life and my family's life was still and would always be imbued with magic. I needed the reminder, because even those of us who speak to angels lose our way sometimes.  

While the challenges that were obscuring my faith didn't go away over night and I still very humanly at times find myself dipping in and out of faith; I continue to go back to that shooting star moment. As it was one of enigmatic synchronicity. I mean really, how the hell did those stars get into that cup? Even if as part of some "Frozen" marketing magic, a few stars were slipped into some Olafs randomly, well, even the analytic side of my brain couldn't argue with the fact that the timing of these falling stars were indeed serendipitous and deeply meaningful to me.   

For in that moment I knew instantly that I should indeed, still believe. Believe what I know to be true, but sometimes lose touch with feeling. Believe that help is always available. Believe that support is always there...seen and unseen. Believe that indeed peace would not only be restored but is already here if I could just trust into it.  

Believe that even on a stormy day in summer, that a snowman could warm a girl's heart.

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SOME "STARS FALLING" MESSAGES FOR YOU:

*Sometimes you need to ask the universe, god, spirit (whatever feels right for you) to show you some signs.

*Be awake and present enough in your day to receive the message, sometimes they will hit you over the head even when you are sleepwalking through your day, but it helps to be available to receive the message.

*Follow that intuitive whisper that tells you to do something, go somewhere, speak to someone, etc. Messages from the universe are often subtle. 

*Don't judge yourself when you are feeling bad, scared, angry. Judging how you feel only further entrenches it. Allow the feelings to move through you, but also allow some space for support to come in to shift how you feel. Ask for support and help when you feel you need it and/or when you are spiraling in your stuckness.

*When a sign comes to you, don't take it for granted. Pause, breathe in the gift of it. Allow the synchronicity, sign, moment of serendipity to shift your energy. Your present mood and resistance to feeling better might tell you to do otherwise, but choose to let grace fill-up your heart and soul. You'll be grateful that you did...

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INSPIRATIONAL BONUS CONTENT:

Spotify Playlist to Follow:

*A "Stars Falling" Music Playlist That I Made for You

LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU:

I would love to hear about a time in your life when you experienced a synchronicity or received a sign that was particularly meaningful to you. I have found that when we share our stories we not only empower ourselves, we also help to inspire those who hear them.

Leave a comment below to share the love, as you never know who might just need to hear your story and you might just need to tell it! 

I look forward to hearing from you!

Blessings and love,

Elana